Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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