He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
she smelled like a LAN party
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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