im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Randomize