i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
