I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
