we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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