They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
