I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
