I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
