Kiss
Puke
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
