They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize