But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Randomize
