dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
