please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize
