you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Randomize
