Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
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