I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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