maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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