My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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