I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
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