he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
