That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
