people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
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