Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
