I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
