JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
