I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
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