on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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