Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
