i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
