Yo dont text me then not text me
no, he came in my armpit
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Randomize
