They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize