I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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