i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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