oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Randomize