i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
