you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
