Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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