So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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