What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
