Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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