Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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