Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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