No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
