Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
