The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
