we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
