The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
