White coat. Heels.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
