And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
