i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
