goodnight i made you a song goodbye
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
