She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
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