So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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