Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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