Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
